When I tell people I have Fibromyalgia a lot of people stare blankly, or go “I’m so sorry” or, “I can’t even imagine” – sometimes it’s a combination of all three. Of course, it’s pretty difficult to understand what it’s like to have something you don’t have. I’m hoping that, after reading this, you’ll empathise somewhat.
This is what it’s really like to have Fibromyalgia.
…It’s reaching to pick something up next to you and pulling a muscle instead.
…It’s constant leg cramp – and continuing to walk despite it.
…And that’s not, “It’s been a long day and I want a nap,” but more like: “It’s been a long 19 years and I never want to wake up.”
…And knowing you’re being judged for it, because people don’t understand how you can complain about pain and still get up and do life anyway. They think you’re lying, but I can promise you: Yes, it hurts to walk. Yes, it hurts to write. Yes, I do it anyway.
…So to all of you I never make plans with – I’m sorry. I love you. Please, be patient.
…If there’s too much happening, whether that’s noise, smell, people, it can make your anxiety go into overdrive
…And then, it’s feeling stupid for being anxious because the TV is on, and someone else is talking on the phone, and your dog is nudging you for a cuddle. (I’m sorry, Molly, you’re super cute and I adore you.)
…Because you have to focus all your energy into work and living.
…As a kid, I wanted to be an athlete.
…By strangers, friends, Doctors.
…I walk around 7km a day despite my legs begging otherwise. Sorry that I don’t run a daily marathon on top of that.
…Oh boy, the many, many years I spent being told I was just “mildly anaemic”.
…Which is a whole issue on its own and deserves a separate post.
…It’s not being able to keep up in a conversation.
…It’s forgetting everyday things.
It often feels you are when suffering from any chronic illness – but you’re not. There’s an entire community of people around you who understand. Reach out to one another. You are never alone.